6:11 AM
6 = Love
11 = Portal
The portal of love
“When we send love to others it is magnified and reflected back to us.”
After finding Jason’s poetry yesterday in a pile of his 2-yr old stuff, I was very emotional and was asking myself why didn’t I see this before? Why did he keep this secret? Could I have done more to bring him out (he hated it when we showed him off to others)? Every time I had asked myself these questions in the past 2 weeks I caught myself and realized I was creating crap in my mind. However, this time I let myself wallow in it. As I paced emotionally in Jason’s room, I bumped into the protruding hardware on his chest. The lock was open; it hadn’t been the last time I saw it. In fact, I was avoiding opening that chest – I had given Jason that chest when he was young, it was my chest when I went to college. It had a key, and Jason loved treasure chests.
When we moved from Beverly, Jason was entering 8th grade and he was ready to throw out most of his childhood stuff (making moving a lot easier). I suggested he put special things he wanted to keep in his treasure chest, and he did. We carried it with us (didn’t put it in the moving van, it was very heavy) and had it in Gloucester with us when we stayed at Chuck’s for 3 weeks (he was in India) before we moved in to our new home in Ipswich. I wasn’t sure if he used that treasure chest much since we moved.
OK, Jason, I know you want me to open this now, it’s time. As I opened it, emotion overcame me, I couldn’t stop bawling. I was opening a portal in time, a portal to love. As I went through each beautifully organized layer (organization was not Jason’s thing, usually), I was shown all the memories of the special things I had given Jason through time. Jason was telling me in a big way how much he loves me. He was reflecting back all of the love I had given him every time I gave him a little treasure box from the southwest or the Orient or Egyptian. All of these treasure boxes had sweet little memories of his childhood – little plastic animals, Pokemon figures, the little glittery beanie lizards he used to play with – even the ones that had holes in them, leaking sand, waiting in plastic bags for Mom to sew them once again (they got thrown around the house a lot with his friends). It’s a museum of his childhood, and it was Jason’s sacred treasure chest.
I caught myself thinking that he probably didn’t use this much since he moved here. Jason became an independent teen, and was pushing away his childhood and his mom’s involvement in his life. I looked some more and found $150 and knew he was storing money he made at the health food store here. I looked again at the top layer and found a card I had put in his backpack in 6th grade when he went on his first overnight trip with school – Nature’s classroom. It had dragonflies on it and I was wishing him a magical adventure. I remember cleaning out his backpack a couple of years ago and showed him the card – he had kept it in the top layer of the treasure chest. I looked in another treasure box (from India) and all that was in it was money from Hong Kong that I brought back in May from my trip with Kule. Wow! He had been treasuring all my gifts all along. I’m blown away once again by my son.
I also found a puzzle box I gave him perhaps 3 years ago, and realize I have no idea how to open this thing – Jason’s sense of humor.
Jason is my treasure.
Treasure your treasures,
Michelle
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