Sunday, November 8, 2009

Lives and Identities, 10/8/09

Many of us believe in past lives and reincarnation. What about current lives? Years ago I was told I was a “walk-in” and that another soul took over at a big transition in my life. No way to prove any of it, of course. But why not? Things are always changing, and therefore death is always happening at many levels, creating space for new life.

I feel I’m in a transition now, a new life starting. I believe it is a healthy way to be in the world. How many of us go through huge transitions on a regular basis! I see a show of many hands! Kule and I have been studying identities through Avatar and other teachings. I have been a mother for over 17 years, and now that identity has changed. I am still a mother at heart, without the earthly responsibilities, developing a new relationship with Jason’s spirit. That mother identity will always be there. If I hold on too tight to certain aspects of that identity, needing to be the way I was, wanting to see him become an adult, etc, then I create suffering. Therefore the identity will shift to accommodate my new way of being.

I will celebrate when October 26 comes and I can celebrate Jason’s birthday as a celebration of his life vs. watching the old mother identity wishing I could have seen him turn 18. I might need help with that one – it’s big, but I think I can do it! Chuck and I will plan something that day, and will ask for support.

I could easily see several different lives within my lifetime: my youth, my married life, my divorced life before Kule (starting my consulting career, a new work life), my partnered life with Kule, and now life after Jason’s passing. They have all been rich with identities, many of which didn’t serve me and I needed to learn to let go of them and move on. I can choose what identities I want to have. The core identity that I choose is to enjoy being however and whoever I am. That’s the ultimate goal, and I’m working on it, I’m playing with it. Life’s too short, and like Jason always said, I worry too much sometimes. Time to let go of the mind and just be, and play with whatever identities serve me in the moment. Live life to its fullest.

That’s the ticket.

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