Thurs 8/23 1:23 AM (1 day late - Mom needed rest)
1:23 = 123 It's Easy - Celebrating Childhood and Living Life Fully
"Thanks, Mom, you are listening. I used to tell you all the time this past year that you didn't listen to me (when you thought you were and you had no idea what I was talking about). I was talking about a much deeper listening, not the words, and nothing the mind does." I'm listening so clearly now.
He want on reminiscing his childhood - I will write about that later, since the message from last night needs to be written ASAP). His childhood friends had a reunion with me yesterday, looking at funny videos they used to make, and we shared much healing laughter together. Our house in Beverly was a commune for indigo kids. He also was reminiscing how he and I played together so much until a year ago (when he needed space; I grieved that the past year to prepare me for this bigger loss). 1 week before he went to Hull to visit Erin (and died 2 days later), we were on a plane back from San Francisco, and I showed him a word game I invented in that moment (we used to play games together - he loved to travel with me) - we cracked up the whole way back from Chicago. When we landed at 1 AM in Boston, he turned to me with so much joy, sharing how much he enjoyed being with me.
That night we picked up Jason's ashes and brought it home in his camera bag (fit beautifully). Kule held a sacred space for us (Charlene and Dianna were there helping us, and Noah and Dustin happened to come by right before we went to pick up the ashes), and we passed the clear plastic bag of ashes for each of us to connect with him. He felt like he did when he was a little baby, and I cradled him close and felt more grief pass through, helping me to release his physical body. I held him to my womb and felt the cycle of life complete. This was important closure for me as the mother who brought him into this world; what a blessing.
Right after that, Chuck excitedly shared how Jason is inspiring him to live his passion.
In Jason's message to me that night, I felt that as well. Jason is helping me to pursue what I've already started planning to do, but now with less limits.
All Jason did was follow his passion, and he's teaching us to live fully.
"Go into your heart - that's where the answers are, not our minds."
No comments:
Post a Comment